Should I give friends and family a discount on baking?

Only if you decide the policy in advance and use the same one for everybody. A set discount for a defined group is easy to say and easy to defend. Deciding case by case is what causes the awkwardness, because you end up doing sums about how close somebody is while they wait for a reply, and eventually two people compare notes.

Is charging family for ingredients only a good idea?

It works for a small circle and gets expensive fast beyond it, because it hands over every hour of your time for nothing. On a two tier cake that is often six hours or more against about twenty two dollars of ingredients. Fine for one or two people you would gladly spend a Saturday on, much less fine once word gets round and it becomes the family rate.

What do I say when someone asks for a cake as a favour?

Say yes warmly and give the number in the same message, because a gap between the two is what makes it feel like a confrontation. Something like I would love to, that one is one forty, and I can do the sixteenth. Do not explain or justify the price. A number said plainly sounds professional, while a number buried in apologies sounds like an opening offer.

How do I tell people my prices have gone up?

Say it once, briefly, without a long explanation. Ingredients have gone up so my prices have too, that size is now one sixty is enough. You do not need to send an announcement to everyone you have ever baked for. Just quote the new price the next time somebody asks, in the same tone you would quote the old one.

Is it rude to send an invoice to a friend?

No, and it is usually less awkward than not sending one, because it turns a vague expectation into a normal transaction that both of you can see. Keep it plain and send it when you agree the order rather than after you deliver. Being paid late by somebody you have to see at Christmas is far more uncomfortable than asking upfront.

Should I bake for free if it will get me exposure?

Do it if you like the person or care about the cause, and do not count it as marketing. People who first meet your work at an event where it was free tend to ask whether you would do theirs for free too. Real bookings come from people who saw somebody pay for your work, which is a different audience entirely.

What to charge friends and family

Somebody you love has asked for a cake. You want to say yes, you do not want to hand over a hundred and sixty dollars of your own money to do it, and now you're rewriting a text message for the fourth time. This one is about getting out of that loop.

Updated August 26, 2026

Why this is so much harder than pricing a stranger

A stranger on Instagram asks what you charge and you tell them. It's a transaction, and if the number doesn't work for them they go somewhere else and nobody's Christmas is affected. Your cousin asks, and suddenly you're weighing up a birthday, a group chat, and whether your aunt will hear about it.

The awkwardness is real, but it usually comes from one specific thing: the person asking has no idea what they're asking for. They've seen you bake. They know you enjoy it. In their head this is a nice afternoon for you, roughly comparable to being asked to bring a salad. They have never once thought about the eleven dollars of good butter or the six hours.

Which means most of these conversations aren't actually a negotiation. They're a piece of information the other person is missing. That's a much easier thing to fix than a disagreement, and it's why a plain sentence about what goes into it defuses about eighty percent of them.

The number you're actually giving away

Before you can decide what to charge, you need to know what a favour costs you. Not the shopping, which is the part everyone counts, but the whole thing. Here's a two tier buttercream birthday cake, the sort of thing that gets asked for casually on a Tuesday for the following Saturday.

What a favour cake costs you

IngredientsButter, eggs, flour, sugar, the good vanilla, colours	$22.40
Board, box and ribbon	$6.00
Your time6.5 hours at $20, counting the shop, the bake, the crumb coat and the wait	$130.00
Electricity and wear on your kit	$8.60
What it costs you to say yes	$167.00

That's the real figure, and it's the reason this feels heavier than it should. When you make that cake for free you aren't giving a gift worth twenty eight dollars of ingredients. You're giving a gift worth a hundred and sixty seven, and doing it on a weekend you'd otherwise have had. Nobody would casually ask you for that in cash.

Tip. Run one of your own most-asked-for bakes through the calculator before the next request arrives. Knowing the number in advance is what lets you answer in one calm message instead of three anxious ones.

Decide the policy once, so you're not deciding every time

The exhausting part isn't the money, it's relitigating it every single time from scratch while trying to work out whether this particular person counts as close enough. Make the decision once, in the calm, and then you're just reporting it rather than agonising over it.

There's no correct policy here, only ones that are clear. Pick whichever of these you can actually live with, and notice that all of them are easier to say than making it up in the moment.

Full price for everyone, and birthdays get a gift from you like anyone else's would.
Cost of ingredients only, for a named short list of people, and full price for everyone outside it.
A set discount, say twenty five percent, for anyone you'd invite to your own birthday.
Two free bakes a year, chosen by you, and the rest at full price.

The ingredients only version is the most popular and the one worth thinking hardest about, because it still hands over every hour of your time for nothing. That's fine for your sister. It gets expensive when it quietly becomes the rate for eleven people, all of whom heard about it from each other.

Watch out. Whatever you pick, apply it consistently. The problems don't come from charging, they come from charging one cousin and not another and then both of them finding out at the same christening.

What to actually say

Most of the dread is about wording, so here's wording. The trick in all of these is to say yes warmly and put the number in the same breath, because a delay between the two is what makes it feel like a confrontation.

For a straightforward ask: I would love to. That size with the buttercream flowers is one forty, and I can do the sixteenth.
When you want to give a discount and have it land as a gift: Normally one forty, but you are getting the family rate, so ninety, and happy birthday.
When you genuinely cannot fit it in: I am so sorry, that weekend is already spoken for. If you want I can send you two people locally who are brilliant.
When the ask has grown since it started: That is doable, though the extra tier and the gold leaf take it to two ten. Want me to work it out properly and send it over?

Notice that none of them apologise for the price or explain it at length. A number said plainly reads as professional. The same number wrapped in three sentences of justification reads as an opening offer, and people negotiate against opening offers.

If somebody does push back, you're allowed to just repeat yourself. That's genuinely what it costs to make is a complete sentence, and you do not owe anybody a line by line breakdown of your butter.

The exposure trap

There's a particular version of this ask that arrives dressed as an opportunity. A friend's work event, a christening for someone you half know, a fundraiser. It'll be great exposure. There'll be loads of people there. Everyone will ask who made it.

Occasionally that's true. Much more often what happens is that forty people eat a lovely cake, three of them ask who made it, and two of those three want to know whether you'd do theirs for free as well. Exposure to people who met your work in a context where it was free is not the same as exposure to customers.

If you want to do it anyway, do it because you like the person or you care about the cause, which are both excellent reasons. Just don't file it under marketing, because then you'll keep doing it and wondering why the bookings never arrive.

When free is genuinely the right answer

None of this is an argument for invoicing your mother. Sometimes free is exactly right, and being clear about money is what makes it possible to be generous without resenting it afterwards.

Make the cake for free when you'd have wanted to give a present anyway and this is a better one than anything you'd have bought. Make it when the person has looked after you and you'd like to say so in a way that a card can't. Make it when you actually want to, on a weekend that's actually free, for someone who will notice.

The difference between a gift and a favour is entirely about who decided. A cake you offered is one of the nicest things you can hand somebody. A cake you were volunteered for on a Tuesday, for Saturday, is a job that doesn't pay, and you're allowed to notice which one you're being asked for.

Work out your own numbers

Put your supplier prices into the baking calculator and it gives you your cost per item, along with retail and wholesale prices built from it. Free, and no account needed.

Open the baking calculator →

Questions makers ask

Should I give friends and family a discount on baking?: Only if you decide the policy in advance and use the same one for everybody. A set discount for a defined group is easy to say and easy to defend. Deciding case by case is what causes the awkwardness, because you end up doing sums about how close somebody is while they wait for a reply, and eventually two people compare notes.
Is charging family for ingredients only a good idea?: It works for a small circle and gets expensive fast beyond it, because it hands over every hour of your time for nothing. On a two tier cake that is often six hours or more against about twenty two dollars of ingredients. Fine for one or two people you would gladly spend a Saturday on, much less fine once word gets round and it becomes the family rate.
What do I say when someone asks for a cake as a favour?: Say yes warmly and give the number in the same message, because a gap between the two is what makes it feel like a confrontation. Something like I would love to, that one is one forty, and I can do the sixteenth. Do not explain or justify the price. A number said plainly sounds professional, while a number buried in apologies sounds like an opening offer.
How do I tell people my prices have gone up?: Say it once, briefly, without a long explanation. Ingredients have gone up so my prices have too, that size is now one sixty is enough. You do not need to send an announcement to everyone you have ever baked for. Just quote the new price the next time somebody asks, in the same tone you would quote the old one.
Is it rude to send an invoice to a friend?: No, and it is usually less awkward than not sending one, because it turns a vague expectation into a normal transaction that both of you can see. Keep it plain and send it when you agree the order rather than after you deliver. Being paid late by somebody you have to see at Christmas is far more uncomfortable than asking upfront.
Should I bake for free if it will get me exposure?: Do it if you like the person or care about the cause, and do not count it as marketing. People who first meet your work at an event where it was free tend to ask whether you would do theirs for free too. Real bookings come from people who saw somebody pay for your work, which is a different audience entirely.

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